Third installment

At the end of the platform was a sign for the waiting room so I went in, on my left was the left luggage room with a guard outside, it seemed like the first class waiting room, I had a second class ticket so I could not go in, I was so tired that I didn't need a chair so I found a corner, put my bergan on the floor and leant against it, at least there were people here, it was a lot safer than waiting outside. For ages I tried my hardest to drop off to sleep but I couldn't as it was uncomfortable and I was very uneasy about going to sleep, I didn't want my bergan stolen so I could only rest and look around at least then I wouldn't fall asleep. As I started to think to myself what the hell was I doing here, I could be back in Wales sleeping in comfort and safety not having anything to worry about, waking up in the morning with my wife beside me, speaking normally and eating a good english breakfast. What is happening to me I thought am l having second thoughts about this whole idea perhaps it was because I was alone, I didn't understand why my mind was playing games with me, all I knew that I was halfway to where I had originally planned to go. To overcome these feelings of homesickness and doubt I thought about the reasons why I came to Croatia in the first place. There was communism which I hated more than anything else, I must help a country with what looked like a ameteur army perhaps I could help train them, I must help somehow people were dying all over Croatia and here I was complaining having some of my things stolen and feeling uncomfortable, how selfish of me, I was not dying in Zagreb I was just feeling lonely I must help, I must get to Osijek as soon as possible, I knew that once I arrived I would be able to join the army and do what I had come here to do, help, I must not let anything make me forget my objective now, I must carry on to my final destination, I must help! The time passed slowly, very slowly, was twenty to six never going to come I couldn't wait as I wanted to get on that train and get to Osijek. Eventually looking at my watch get up and wait for the train, stood up, tided myself up and put my bergan on my back, now to find the platform for the train, I found out and started to walk. The train was already there but no lights on as if it was waiting for me, I got on board found a compartment and sat down, at least it was warm and comfortable. The lights came on and right on time the train started to move on its journey to Osijek, I was at long last on my way to the front line perhaps to meet my fate whatsoever that might be. There was no turning back now, I couldn't and I didn't want to. As I looked out of the window at Zagreb disappearing from view I started to drop off to sleep, there was only one thing going through my mind, I must help, I am going to help, I will help.

My eyes opened as we were passing a station called "Bizovac" from looking at my watch I worked out that we had been traveling for about four and a half hours and it could not be much further until we reached Osijek, so I starred out of the window, now this was a country at war, this wasn't Zagreb, before I had even reached Osijek, I saw signs of destruction not a lot but enough to tell me I was fast approaching the front line. As I passed through village after village I saw more and more destruction by what I wasn't sure maybe morters or artillery I was only guessing. There were soldiers everywhere, cars and lorries painted in different shades of green looking like camouflage, this was what I had spent nearly all my money on looking for the war zone. The train pulled to a stop it seemed as if we had arrived as the intercom said, well I had arrived, put on my bergan and left the train. There was nothing different about this station, tracks and a lot of wagons the only difference was where on the map was I. There was an enterence ahead so I walked towards it constantly looking around, there were quite a lot of soldiers and families with suitcases waiting to board the train leaving I imagined, everyone had somewhere to go except me, I was here with only a hope of joining the Croatian army and a chance to stop the communist push into what should and would be a free country.