Well it was my birthday, thirty four getting older by the minute and because of this war, wiser. There were no cards but the girls in the unit gave me a bottle of Bourbon that was a pleasant surprise as I knew that our wages were not worth very much especially with inflation soaring and Ernie said that he would take me out for a meal after we had been to see Ivan. It was amazing how resilient people can be when everything around them was falling apart and they were able to survive on wages that were negligible compared to western standards, how I as a foreigner marveled at what they managed to do with such a minute amount of money. That night Ernie took me to see Ivan who had a new base that was situated in the center, we went straight passed the guards as everyone already knew who we were. The station was on the air and the studio was a hive of activity, we found Ivan i in his office which was alongside the studio, Ernie went in alone as he had said that he had something to discuss in private with Ivan. After waiting for about ten minutes the both of them came out and I immediately shook Ivan's hand and in return he gave me a bottle of Brandy and wished me happy birthday. That was a nice surprise and worth coming for, as the days went by I was beginning to love these people more and more, it seemed as if there was nothing too much trouble for them especially as I was not Croatian. We left after about fifteen minutes saying goodbye to everyone as we left, we drove off into the night with me thinking that Ernie was going to take me out for a meal but as it happened he was not, instead we ended up back at the base with Ernie making the excuse that there was an air raid on and we had to stay at the base just incase we were needed, I didn't know wheather to believe him or not as over the last few weeks he had been acting strangely and was now not the same person that I had first met in Laslovo, he had changed and was continuing to do so. War plays funny tricks on people's minds, how long could Ernies mind take the pressure before he cracked, I decided not to think about it anymore, after all it was my birthday and I was supposed to be celebrating so I sat down and drank some of the Bourbon that the girls had given me. If anyone came into the room I would offer them a drink as if to try and create a party atmosphere, it wasn't working at all so I decided to ring home with both my parents wishing me a happy birthday. It would have been nicer to be at home but I was not and I had to grin and bear it, after all it had been my choice to come to Croatia in the first place. It had been quite a nice day and I wondered where I would be on my next birthday and whether or not I would be alive.
Luck, do you believe in it, like finding a four leaf clover, a bird shiting on you, is that going to bring you luck or do you just make your own luck? Some people have so called luck by winning the lottery, winning on online gambling or winning on the stock market, are these all attributed to luck, good question but if you think about it everything that you bet on is controlled by a computer or little balls spinning around in a plastic globe, you win, is that really luck? How do you define what luck really is, I'm not sure but I think you make your own luck. For instance I made my own luck by going to a cafe and meeting my wife who worked there, I made my own luck during the war in Croatia by doing what I had been taught and stayed alive, my wife and I were lucky enough to have three children when there are other married people who can't have children, are those examples of luck or destiny? In a way you could say that it was my destiny to get married not just luck, which is it ...
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