Tenth installment

Over the next few days I spent with Paula I was very happy and didn't have a care in the world, I hadn't been this happy since I was home for Christmas and that seemed a long time ago. While we were in a local jazz club one night I started to talk about relations, she told me about hers and I told her about mine, I told her that I didn't want any serious relationship as I was still married but I was saying this only half believing it. Here I was in a country where I didn't even speak the language, fighting a war that was not really mine to fight and miles away from my family and friends, I had made the all important break and the future was now in my hands. It is uncanny the way that life turns out, I was perhaps losing my wife but mother nature had seen fit to provide me with an opportunity for another relationship and it had all started with three bullets. In that moment I decided that I would wait and see what developed between my wife and I and still keep in contact with Paula, in a way hedging my bets. If I did split with my wife then I was going to make sure that if it happened and I was going to care for someone else then the woman sitting across from me was might just be the one. The next day was St. Valantines day and as I had already received an orchid from Paula I would spend some money on roses for her. When I arrived at the press center I found that she had gone up to her room to change and would be back shortly so I put the flowers on the table and waited. It was not long before she returned and I think she was fairly surprised to see the flowers, she got a vase and put the flowers in it and put the vase on her table so that everybody could see them, I think that she was happy or at least I hoped so. During that morning she had found out the times of the trains back to Osijek and I decided to leave that afternoon, she said that she would come with me to the station as she was not doing anything else and to tell the truth I was glad that she would be there. It had been a nice break from the troubles in Osijek with Paula as company and I was sorry to be leaving but I had to get back to reality. We arranged to keep in contact by telephone and to meet for dinner when she arrived back to Osijek. That was the only thing that we had disagreed about throughout the whole time together, I had told her that it would be safer in Zagreb as she had a daughter who was in school in Austria and it was much better to stay where she was for the time being. The train was on the platform as we arrived and I got on with Paula as she would stay until the train was about to leave, she told me that she was going to see her sister that afternoon, I had already met her sister as she had visited Paula at the press center and she had seemed very nice. The train was about to leave so I told her that it was time to get off, she kissed and hugged me and I felt that there was something special in the way that she held me there on the train, I felt warm and safe in her arms, I knew that I wanted more and perhaps one day it would happen. We broke the embrace and she left waving, after she had gone out of sight I settled down for the journey and thought about the last few days in Paula's company. While thinking I looked out of the window and there she was on the opposite platform, I smiled and she smiled back, the train started to pull out of the station and I could see her waving as we left. Was this to be the last time that I would see Paula or was it perhaps to be the beginning of my future, I hoped that the latter would be right. The train was now leaving the city behind and heading into the country and I found myself looking into my bag I was carrying, in it were the toy car, an orchid and a heart. These were all that I had to remind of these last few wonderful days, a wonderful woman and a beautiful friendship. It was no use pondering as it would not change anything, three hours and I would be back in Osijek and reality, I wondered what Ernie would have to say and whether the unit was still together, I had left the good behind in Zagreb and was heading for the bad, I hoped and prayed that things would get better. They always say that when you're at the bottom of the ladder the only way is up and perhaps and perhaps meeting Paula put me on the first step of that ladder. The waiter came around and I bought a can of beer, opened it and lifted it up to make an imaginary toast firstly to Osijek, then to Croatia and lastly to Paula, all of which I hoped would be my future.