Skip to main content

Lost

Lost that's how I feel now, I'm here with my family in Wales because of my mother who is as you all know is very ill, I don't do what I normally do, my surroundings are different, everything is different from eating, money, my whole way of life, it's as if I'm a ghost around people but I'm not really there, everyone talks between themselves as if I don't exist,I feel as if I am in the twilight zone. When I get a chance I am allowed to talk but then my family talk about either my mam or their lives, I get up in the morning to make a cup of coffee and I don't know where everything is and where everything to make breakfast is, I am really feeling lost, if it wasn't because of my mother I would go back to my real home where I actually exist and amongst my family who talk to me or shout at me which would be absolutely great but I can't because I have to stay here to be beside my mother. Here being without my wife and children close to me I'm lost and can't wait to go back home, it's a terrible feeling talking one language and then talking on the telephone in a different language and constantly getting both languages mixed up so my mind is lost. You could say that Im depressed but I'm not, just lost, my rhythm of life is different and I'm finding it very hard to cope with, the only thing that is constant is seeing my mam in hospital, I'm even finding it hard to write my blog every day which I look forward to and enjoy but now it's hard to write and enjoy it, I'm completely lost,so I apologize to everyone and when I get back home I will feel normal again.Thank you. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Ninth installment

The remains of the unit that were in this position left and we followed them, we went around the outskirts of the village and back into the center. The rest of PIV or what was left of it were already there, we found out that Colin just after he had reached the main hq in the center of the village. We had to go back to the end of the street to see what was happening but as soon as we arrived we came under heavy fire as the enemy had pinpointed this house as our new front line, there was no way that we could reach Eric without getting everyone who attempted a rescue killed and because of the amount of enemy fire we had to fall back, on the way Alan started going berserk saying that he had to go back to fight, he was shooting everywhere so George calmed him down and asked him to take care of the elderly and that seemed to work. By now the village command had decided it was time to leave but first we had to wait for the mortar unit to reach safety. We could not get anywhere near under cons...
Post a Comment
Read more

Third installment

Day in, day out, it was the same routine, sleep, guard, fire off a few rounds in the general direction of the enemy, there was not much else to do, the main thing was to stay alive by keeping inside every time mortars or artillery came flying in to the village. The only time that there was a lot of activitie was when we were buzzed by planes, everybody would rush outside, Ernie would jump on the transporter and fire the machine gun, I used to run to the machine gun that was mounted on a tripod at the end of the street and also fire at the plane, everybody else would be outside firing their ak47s, there was not much chance of hitting it or bringing it down but it took only one lucky shot and that would give everyone hope. After the plane had gone out of sight that the transporter was Ernies because he had shot at the enemy leaving the damaged transporter with a sniper rifle, so Geordi the commander in charge of the defense of Osijek had given it to Ernie, I also found out that he worked...
Post a Comment
Read more

Second installment

The word money has a way of working it's way into every aspect of life and my little crusade was not exempt, how much did I need to get to Croatia, how much did I need to survive on the way, it all had to be taken into account and most where and how I was going to get the money from that I needed. By inquiring at travel agents I found out that I could fly but only as far as Austria, Italy or Hungary but the price was much too expensive for me. Taking the train to any of these countries was also far too expensive, the cheapest way was by bus but the only problem was that it took so long to reach your destination. The bus that I wanted to take went from London and it's destination was Athens in Greece, it normally went through Yugoslavia but because of the war it was not going through Budapest then down into Belgrade before going onto Greece. This was the cheapest way to go and after further inquiries I found out the times and price of the bus, now all I had to do was get the mon...
Post a Comment
Read more