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Lost

Lost that's how I feel now, I'm here with my family in Wales because of my mother who is as you all know is very ill, I don't do what I normally do, my surroundings are different, everything is different from eating, money, my whole way of life, it's as if I'm a ghost around people but I'm not really there, everyone talks between themselves as if I don't exist,I feel as if I am in the twilight zone. When I get a chance I am allowed to talk but then my family talk about either my mam or their lives, I get up in the morning to make a cup of coffee and I don't know where everything is and where everything to make breakfast is, I am really feeling lost, if it wasn't because of my mother I would go back to my real home where I actually exist and amongst my family who talk to me or shout at me which would be absolutely great but I can't because I have to stay here to be beside my mother. Here being without my wife and children close to me I'm lost and can't wait to go back home, it's a terrible feeling talking one language and then talking on the telephone in a different language and constantly getting both languages mixed up so my mind is lost. You could say that Im depressed but I'm not, just lost, my rhythm of life is different and I'm finding it very hard to cope with, the only thing that is constant is seeing my mam in hospital, I'm even finding it hard to write my blog every day which I look forward to and enjoy but now it's hard to write and enjoy it, I'm completely lost,so I apologize to everyone and when I get back home I will feel normal again.Thank you. 

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