Once I arrived in Vienna I took a taxi to the airport which was outside the city and therefore to far to walk, the airport was almost deserted and I found out the first available plane was at six the next morning and the offices didn't open until then so I had to wait until then just to buy my ticket. The night was spent walking around the airport and trying to find somewhere to sleep so I rang my parents and told them I was on my way and what time I would arrive in the UK. The next morning after a restless night I bought my ticket, it was with Lauda Air they had the first available flight to London. Once I had got through passport control I boarded the plane and after a short while we took off and almost immediately I fell asleep. The stewardess woke me and gave me some food and after that they came around with duty free, I had to buy cigarettes and a bottle of whiskey. It was not long before we landed at Heathrow with a bump, I went straight to hire a car for the time that I was going to be home but they didn't have anything because of the holiday season so a bus was the next best thing so I rang my parents and asked would it be alright if someone picked me up in Newport,
"yes what time does it arrive" my father asked,
I told him and he said he would be there to meet me. On the way home there was a traffic jam on the motorway as there was high winds on the river Seven and the bridge was closed to all high sided vehicles, so we ended up going the long way round. It was just my luck and things were about to get worse, the other way was also used by everyone and there was a tailback of traffic stretching for a few km. It seemed as if everything was going against me, would my father still be waiting, would I ever get home, I hoped so as I was now looking forward to seeing everyone after two and a half months. Eventually we pulled off the motorway and drove into the outskirts of Newport, as we turned into the bus station I could see my father's car parked on the side road
The bus stopped, my father was there waiting, there was the normal handshake and hello between us,
"how are you and how was your trip" he asked,
"ok apart from the traffic jam, that's how the bus is so late but at least we arrived, where's mam?" I said,
"she's in the car waiting" he replied,
so off we went to where the car was parked, I could see my sister and her children were there. My mother got out of the car as we approached, I put my rucksack in the boot and turned to my mother who immediately hugged me and gave me a kiss, I knew that she for one was glad to see me. We got in the car, drove off with everyone asking me questions about everything, I didn't really want to think about it let alone talk about it but out of politeness I tried to answer as much as I could. It was the same all the way home with me constantly looking out of the window for some sort of change but nothing. We arrived home with the house decorated as usual but with a weird atmosphere, we went in, said hello to my brothers and then mam asked me if I wanted something to eat and of course I did and I ended up with my favorite, a good english breakfast something that back in Croatia we didn't have and I was starving, I ate it as if I hadn't eaten for months. We all sat down and they asked me if I would like coffee or something to drink, it had been a long day and I said a whiskey would do nicely, they gave it to me and I said thanks. As the night wore on and a couple more whiskeys(which I was drinking as a sort of sedative) it was so quiet that I would not be able to sleep without it, instead it had the opposite affect and I started to talk about what had happened since I went to Croatia, I started to talk more and more about the men I left behind in Croatia, the men that had died in Laslovo, it was like all the emotions that I had kept locked away for so long were now being released. As I was talking I found myself sobbing, not hysterically but tears beginning to form, I was looking around the room and thinking how traditional this scene was, a family Christmas, our men back in Osijek would not have this, they only had the tree we decorated to remind them that this was supposed to be the season of good will. Back in Briest there were no children knocking on the door and singing carols only detonations as I knew that Osijek was bombed daily and that Christmas didn't make any difference to the enemy, they had no seasonal spirit, they just wanted to kill, I sobbed for twenty minutes as I was here with my family but my second family were living in the fear of death every second of the day, it was then that I realized that Croatia meant more to me than I would ever be able to tell or explain to my family, they didn't understand why I left in the beginning so how could they understand the feelings that I was experiencing now. Here I was half drunk and sobbing, how was Eric's mother coping with the fact that she was not sure if her son was alive or dead, how were the men at the base coping without their loved ones, this was too much for me and I said my good night's, apolagised and went to bed. As I fell off to sleep I couldn't stop thinking how the death of so many people make you realize how sacred life really is and what a crime it is that people have to sacrifice their lives for future generations. The people in the UK fought two World Wars but that was for the sake of the whole world, the Croats were fighting for themselves and their children's future, as I fell asleep I found myself wishing I was back in Briest with our unit celebrating in whatever way they were, if there was a possibility of being in two places at once then now was that time for me.
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