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Chapter XIV Articles April 1 1992

Why? Why? Why am I still in the Croatian army and still in Croatia when all I see around me is choas. No one knows what the real situation in Croatia is, one part of this beautiful country there are the people with heart, faith and courage and in the other there are people with money and power. The first group are where they have been from the beginning of the war with the "Reds" and they are the real Croatians, they didn't leave when their villages or towns were attacked or when they were over run by little red communists who were sowing the seeds of death. They didn't leave when their shops, homes and crops were destroyed by pieces of metal with the message "Welcome to greater Serbia" written in blood. They didn't leave when someone from their family was killed, they stayed where they belonged and tried not to think about the circumstances. These people who were once peaceful and full of love became hardened fighters who do not want to give up and continue to fight for every meter of their beautiful homeland. Why did the other group leave, maybe it was because it was a good time for a holiday, perhaps they had some money in the bank that they needed to be spent, I wonder what the fighter's of this country think about these so called Croats, I hope that they have a nice holiday in Austria, Germany or wherever else in Europe they have run off to.
If you look around the map of your country now after nine months of infiltration by Serbian and chetnik aggressors, you will see the hotbeds of courage. These are the men, women and children who are really fighting for Croatia, not the holiday makers who have left. If you look around the cemeteries in the border battlefields, you will see the names of dead heroes, men, women and children. If you look around the bars and cafes in the cities, towns and villages on the edge of the criminals destructive push you will see the faces of men, women and children who believe they must fight on to save what belongs to them. These are the people that I love so much, these are the people who I must stay and help, these are the people who once the war has finished, I want to meet, talk to and live amongst. This is the reason why I stay here and fight in whatever way I can, whether it be with rifle or with the pen, these are both powerful weapons, not as powerful as the courage you the people have shown during this confrontation with injustice but it is all I have to offer, I am not a Croat yet but I would so dearly love to be. Before I was just a soldier trying to find my true destiny, I have now found it amongst the rubble of the Croatian front line. My family back in Wales do not understand what I am doing here, risking my life for an ex-communist country but I know where my fate will be decided,if I continue to be a Croatian soldier then I stand a better chance of becoming a citizen of your country than if I was a civilian, I think that this and the fact that I will have the chance to fight the perporators of democracy is why I put up with the powerful people on television talking rubbish, I still think that I am a soldier and that I still have a lot to give to Croatia if I'm allowed to. If only those people in power would talk directly to their people and motivate and not leave them isolated in the war zones. During the second world war Winston Churchill did it in Great Britain, so why doesn't the president of this country and his government do it here?The ordinary people who have been bombarded with death from the start of this war need to know that they have not been forgotten and that they matter just as much as the people in this country who have not been touched by war. All I can say to finish is please give the warriors of this country everything that they need to try and keep what is left of our country, weapons, amunitions, food, drink and most of all words. Words of admiration, words of respect, words of motivation, words to keep them fighting for Croatia, Croatia our homeland. 

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